Learning to breathe / by Esther Loopstra

Around the time when I found inspiration for my current project (see my first blog post) I was full of anxiety and depression. Most days I found myself unable to breathe normally, as anxiety seemed to be restricting any sense of normal trust in myself and in life.

At least a few times a week, I would find myself at the seashore, looking out into the deep blue water and trying to find a connection to something worth fighting for. One day, when I saw a piece of seaweed that had drifted to shore and was lying on top of some driftwood, it caught my attention. The wind was blowing it, and its skin-like body was responding in what looked like a breath-like motion. An immediate curiosity arose in me. Of course, I knew that seaweed was alive. But I had a sense that there was some kind of relationship that went beyond what I had observed previously just as beautifully diverse blooms on the shore, or annoying, slimy floaters that disturbed my swimming time. This seaweed had something to teach me.

The further I went down the rabbit hole, researching seaweed and kelps’ origins and diversity, I found that these beings are actually some of our first ancestors. They literally taught us how to breathe.

Before land plants and animals, microbes lived in the thermal vents of the ocean floor and in hot springs. Eventually, these microbes developed into more complex beings and learned how to breathe using photosynthesis, tapping into innumerable stores of energy available to them through the water that surrounded them. More and more algae developed and changed the atmosphere and terraformed the planet. From there, they began their descent upon the land and developed bodies that breathe oxygen.

Two days ago I arrived back home from India, where I was studying yogic philosophy and practice. I learned about the breath, and how essential it is to our mental, spiritual, and physical health. I learned about how the yogis studied the physical world and nature in order to gain a sense of clarity and then used this knowledge to create processes to increase energy and vitality. Pranayama are specific breathing exercises that increase or regulate this flow. As we practice, we teach ourselves how to come back to our natural breath, which decreases stress and increases strength. Nature shows us how to live.

Thinking back to that moment when the breathing seaweed caught my attention…was I connecting on a deep level to my ancient ancestor? Was it showing me that it is possible to learn how to breathe again on land? Giving me hope that I can come back to my natural vitality and a more fluid way of being? It’s an interesting idea that this was a tiny, prophetic bread crumb sent from nature itself to slowly dig me out of a hole that I’d fallen into. In a sense, this blog and my work is my sincere gift of reverence to these ancestors and the life they’ve given us and the way that they still show us every day.